Filed under: journal entry
I was put putting around on my bike and couldn’t help but take some pictures of people… so tempting.
Needless to say, it was gorgeous out. When it shines in Houghton, it shines real good. Lately the clouds have be pregnant with darkness but apparently the sky is constipated and yet the poo poo remains close to the bunghole. Rain already! My little sproutlets of lettuce have breathed there first breath and seen their first rays! They would like rain…
I’ve been referring to this very lovely blog:www.flour-arrangements.com for my baking needs. Her recipes are simple and delicious. Although I have found that I need to bake my goods longer.
For this chocolate cake I substituted the 1 cup of milk and 1/2 cup butter milk with 1 cup of water and 1/2 cup of creamer. I also didn’t have the coffee granules. I threw in 1 shredded carrot as well for fun.
Then I threw some powdered sugar, cream cheese, vanilla, and shredded coconut together for the frosting… I used green and black’s organic baking chocolate.
Mostly organic with the exception of the cocoa, which is just hershey’s. Ah well, didn’t want to use my raw cacao for this.
The cake mold was… a gift from my former roommate. Ah hem.
But Mmmm! It is so good! (Tom thought I may have bought the bugger)
Filed under: health of our entity
Among flavorful surroundings and luxurious food bits I find myself just basking in the entirety of human creation. The specific creation I speak of is environments, trends, genre which cater to the sensual and aesthetic want of my nature and person. Something about a delectable mocha in a well lit and well designed location just arouses me to an appreciation of human nature and fragility. Certain feelings of particularity and smelling of old vinyl records. Taking pictures with phones and sending them back and forth to sister. Such nicety. Letting go of the need to understand everything or that all of life must be under some control is a necessity for relaxation it seems.
Filed under: la fin
All day I found myself stagnate and unable to motivate myself. It is easy to move on when one says to their self: I am not the outcome of circumstance subject only to uncontrollable probability. We are created from divine thought process… the thought is absolutely intriguing! To think of what we speak from our feelings translated to the symbols of our specific native language. It is not at all surprising when our communication and thought in terms of feelings, instead of concrete words. Imagine not speaking or having language at all… what would thought sound like? It wouldn’t be coherent words, but feelings and images… so amazing! Such as one without hearing… surely they think but in terms of what? The all invasive matter of life!
Filed under: Hands
Purple Cat Hat, originally uploaded by cranradical.
I knitted this hat for a friend whom has copious amounts of hair. It turned out that it made rather large ears on me. Ahh, it was fun to wear for the day before I gave it away. : )
Filed under: mouth on paper
Quickly, hide away the gargoyle, the mask behind my teeth
The flurries and humus from my eyes begin to seethe
Under the blankets, the shield of some indefinite sleep
Parallel to the circumference of my big toe are the boundaries I leap
Ignite the shadow above the hundredth mismatched alarm
Sight see the mirror toppling from cradled arms
Tangling some loose hairs between fingers like charms
Of relationships and tall trees standing on small farms
Hungry for desert wind to fill some lung with sand
I crawl beside a small white dog beneath the bed stand
Of rhetoric and supple fits a friendliness I command
Creatures of track team hurdles and books that are banned
Simple retreats kept beneath the nose
Our silence the mother will keep
To shed some clothes
And embarrassment we’ll weep
Furthermore, our captivated prevalence over sanity
To empower sheep’s wool over blatant vanity
Tools for shear curiosity imploring the viscosity
Of human impalement upon the statue of hypocrisy
Joyous chorus .. bent through a needle eye
Desperate roar , keeping interests aside
Kneeling fear, atop gregarious lies
Unveil the tempter’s temerarious tide
Filed under: la fin
I regard and disregard. I absorb and redistribute. I am living at every moment. Each thing I have done still exists in some form. I am a mountain of building blocks, a trivial existence that is reformed at every instant. And yet, despite the wavering nature of my sustenance, I am completely unchanged in the most fundamental of my creation. I am being what I was to be- what I am to be. Arms twisting about, breasts doing as they please. The release of these letters. Like anastasia said, 26 letters rearranged differently to induce some meaning. The powerful expression of my mind. The amazing capability of my assimilation of these symbols into concepts, feelings, thoughts, our communication. Hello there. Como estas? Yes, I am sure you are well. I should have drank loose leaf tea instead of decaf coffee. It has left a bad taste in my mouth. That must be the problem in our communication. We speak of the past and the present and the future as different states. We talk in tenses. … when in fact there is only one tense. To separate these things is to give too much credit to one or to create falsities and strange, unnatural problems. We should not dwell over the past for it is the now. There is nothing to worry about. Do I make any sense?
Filed under: mouth on paper
I have been swimming through the folder of my old poetry. In order to preserve it in some form and not have to carry it around, I am typing them each out in textedit. Many of it is from 2004. It is all very old poetry. Here is something from today:
We just need a motivation
Enough to push us off the edge
When we feel as if we’re falling
Don’t recover, but tumble feet over head
A lot of the poetry is about my lack of confidence, trying to make decisions, and of the yearning of love. It is very simple but childish. It is good to reflect on what used to trouble me so much. I am learning about myself, my former self. A lot of it, I admit, is embarrassing. Like this poem:
Hug Me Please
Hug me please
Keep me safe
Hold me tight
I’ll feel secure
I long for this
I am sure
I feel the pulse
Of time pressing
Pushing me forward
Without blessing
I just wish you’d
Spread your arms
And embrace me
With open decision
May that feeling last forever
I simply ask
That you hug me now and
May it end never.
Those childish tendencies to day dream were so strong. All I wanted was love but I had no clue what love entailed. I would write of the security of being with someone and of the intimacy, but I had no clue, really, of the implications of the mind and soul; the consequences of deep thought. The importance of frivolous things made the days past. Perhaps the mind numbing reality of school and the lack of a challenge drove me into my daydreaming. Although all the worry and the self inflicted sadness could have been channeled into something greater. I am the outcome though, here I am.
